More thoughts on The Secret...

Yep, that movie's got me thinkin'...and watching my thoughts. And as I observe those thoughts, it has sunk in that, while it's important to focus on what we do want, rather than what we don't, there's a whole other realm of thought that is influencing our lives, for better or worse. It's the unconscious thoughts we have to become aware of, because they're the ones that truly rule what our world looks like to us.

It struck me last night (like a ton of emotional bricks) that what I've been denying--that unspeakable "truth" (pronounced, "abject terror") that I've kept bottled up--not wanting to even think about...has been wreaking havoc on my life. And until I spoke "the unspeakable" to my friend, I didn't even realize how much power and control I had unconsciously given it. My ego had "retaliated" for the spiritual work I've been doing, and suddenly I had a severe ear infection which brought on an asthma attack, and there wasn't a part of my body that didn't ache, including my lower back (which is a signal to me that my ego is feeling its very survival threatened--but not a bad thing in the big picture!)

I'm quite sure that the quantum-style forgiveness that I've been practicing diligently via A Course in Miracles brought the huge fear close enough to the surface for me to be able to speak it...and I'm quite sure there's more where that came from. But the good news is, my well of unconscious fear and guilt and shame is neither real, nor is it bottomless in its apparent reality on this level. As I keep asking the Holy Spirit to show me a different way of seeing what my ego wants to keep me stuck in, more of it clears away. Not always quietly or obviously, but always as consistently as my requests to the Holy Spirit are. Sometimes those requests are as simple as "help me with this terror."

No, A Course in Miracles is definitely not a path for the faint of heart...